I had a Dream

This morning was one of the best I can remember in a long time. I woke up at 8:30 and read for about an hour, while continuing a text conversation that took place between two people—myself included, of course—more asleep than not. Anyway, the book went exactly where I didn't think it would go, to an extremely emotional and well-written sex scene; not that smutty stuff, but more of need and love. It was quite gripping and made me think for a long time.

Anyway, I eventually fell back to sleep while reading, only to be woken up by my phone’s “lake” noise. I don’t know what a lake is supposed to sound like, and my phone doesn’t sound like a lake, but at night I keep my phone on “lake”, so that text messages wake up me. It sounds strange, but I like to be woken up at night; it helps me dream and I love being disoriented in the middle of the night. Plus, I enjoy conversing. Also, awhile ago, at a train station in DC, I first discovered “lake” when I was talking to someone for the first time. Well, I guess it was the first time. “Lake” has become somewhat symbolic to me now.

So my phone woke me, and I answered the text, and then soon found myself falling back to sleep again, but it was one of those semi-lucid sleeps when you can sort of control what you’re thinking and hearing, half asleep and half awake but nothing really makes sense, when you can dream partially awake and focus the dream’s direction. It’s not entire lucid, since you can’t control the dream, but you have some influence. This process of sleeping, woken by phone, conversing, drifting back to sleep, continued for more than two hours, as I experienced dream after dream, all of which I could and still can remember.

Thank you, practiced dream recall and lucid dreaming.

I could have gotten out of bed and actually started my day, but dreaming was far more pleasurable. Simple, snap-shot dreams filled with people—a person—I wanted in my dreams, and a reoccurring dream that I’ve been having for years. Well, the dream’s location—an enormous movie theater—is reoccurring. Different shit always happens in the dream while the location remains the same.

Finally, after realizing I could not fall back to sleep yet again, I regrettably got out of bed and started the day. A good day. Less sleeping. Less dreams.

In one of my dreams I was driving at night down a lonesome road. I was the only car, the only light, and I think I was alone in my car. I remember a depressing song on the radio, but I don’t recall the song’s title or really what it sounded like. I remember feeling alone, and that I disliked the feeling. I remember looking over, outside the passenger seat window, watching darkness pass.

I had wanted more than darkness.

This dream stemmed from my thoughts last night, while driving home from Chili’s after work. This thought always crosses my mind while driving at night—what if I just withdrew all my money, gathered my most prized possessions, and just kept driving all night? Daylight I would sleep, so as not to see anyone, to be entirely alone, sleeping in a hotel room, and at night I would drive again. Just keep driving, keep driving, and thinking, and watching darkness and how the world, all of the world, lives in darkness. I always have to resist this urge. I wouldn’t want to answer my phone, or tell anyone where I was, or why I left, because I wouldn’t have a good reason. I’d just be driving, and thinking, at night, listening to the same song on my stereo over and over again, and I would be perfectly content. Almost.