Sleep is Scary, so don't do it.

You supposedly remember fewer dreams when you sleep less hours.

 I should clarify.

REM naps increase dream recall rather drastically, as sleep is never deep and dreams…lay on the surface. Sleeping longer, along with waking up multiple times and falling back to sleep, is also often conducive to remembering dreams, mostly due to the later hours that fringe upon REM.

The last few nights I have slept from 5 or 6am to 11am. My dreams, normally, should be very difficult to remember, but they have been extremely detailed, preserved, and as usual, haunting. Actually, most of the dreams were rather interesting, especially one with me stuck in a world where time is suspended in motion, where everything you do almost instantly undoes itself. Of course I went crazy in the dream and started running people down in a truck. It was a very long and very confusing dream.

Right now it’s 4am, so I’ll post this tomorrow at a more reasonable time. Lately I haven’t had much motivation to blog, but to be fair I haven’t had a lot of motivation to do much more than attend the gym.

This is all connected, I promise.

Everything is connected, as I’ve said both here and to people and a person.

It’s odd, that I stay awake all night when I sort of hate night, or at least sleep now, because all I do is think and dream dreams I don’t want to dream.

I always wonder what motivates people, especially at the gym when you’re beating yourself up to become stronger and look nicer. What are they thinking? What inspires them? I usually think about things that frustrate and even anger me, of which there are too many. Today, and for a long foreseeable time, I thought about the dream I had last night. It was amazing, and horrible.

When you’re not trying to forget someone—some things aren’t intended to be forgotten—but at least put them in the back of your mind, that very same mind fucks you over through a dream, or in my case, many dreams. Last night I had one of these dreams, the first one in many weeks, and, surprisingly, it was by far the longest, most vivid, and most…personal?

I’m aware of how confusing the above paragraph may be, but I don’t intend to change it. Read it slowly, and more than once.

And while I usually describe my more interesting dreams, this time I will not. As much as I love public forums and sharing with those who care, I just as much like keeping some things to myself. Besides, details aren’t important.

Yes they are. To say otherwise would be a horrible lie.

But oh well.

And, so, I just felt like ranting about nothing and everything tonight, because why would I be sleeping right now anyway?

And yes, I sort of am wary to sleep tonight. Today I woke up not remembering my dream at first. Then, about ten minutes later, something triggered and it all came rushing back. I said something explicit, sighed, and just sat there for awhile staring at nothing. I was shocked for multiple reasons—one reason being how deeply the dream and the person in it affected me—and even a little sickened. Not in a physical sense, but emotional. So now I’m wondering if I’ll dream again, and if the dreams will be along the same lines, if I’ll see the person and think the same things and wake up wondering what the fuck my mind is doing when I sleep.